4 min readNew DelhiApr 22, 2026 09:00 PM IST
Heartbreak is often described as an emotional experience, but its effects can extend far beyond feelings. Sleep, in particular, is one of the first areas to be affected when the mind is under stress. Actor Kalki Koechlin recently spoke about going through such a phase on a podcast with Soha Ali Khan, describing how heartbreak led to months of insomnia and left her struggling to feel grounded.
“I did have a series of months of insomnia from heartbreak, and it really made me realise how psychological it all is,” she said, pointing to the strong connection between emotional upheaval and physical symptoms. Her nights became particularly difficult, marked by repeated awakenings and an inability to fall back asleep. “I just could not sleep, I would wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning and end up playing the guitar or doing something to occupy myself, because there was no way of going back to sleep,” she shared.
Over time, the lack of rest began to blur the boundaries between wakefulness and exhaustion. She described feeling disoriented even during the day, especially when work demanded her attention. “On the days I had to work, I remember feeling like I didn’t know if I was in a dream state or awake. I was really confused, wondering, ‘Is this really happening, or am I still asleep?’ It went on like that for about four months,” she said.
Her experience highlights how deeply intertwined emotional health and sleep are, and how prolonged stress or grief can manifest in ways that are both mentally and physically draining.
How does emotional distress like heartbreak disrupt sleep cycles?
Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “Heartbreak is not just emotional pain, it is a state of internal alarm. The brain reads loss as something it needs to stay alert to. Stress hormones rise, the system stays switched on, and the natural drift into sleep gets interrupted. Sleep depends on a sense of safety. Heartbreak takes that away.”
What keeps people stuck is the mind’s refusal to let go. “There is constant replaying, questioning, trying to make sense of what happened. In the clinic, people often say they are exhausted but cannot ‘shut their head.’ That is exactly what is happening. The mind is still trying to resolve something that feels unfinished,” he explains.
Over time, he notes that sleep itself becomes lighter and more broken. “Deep, restorative sleep reduces. For some, especially those already sensitive to stress, this does not correct easily. Night starts to feel like a space of tension rather than rest. Then comes the second layer, worrying about not sleeping. At that point, insomnia is no longer just about heartbreak. It becomes a pattern the system has learned.”
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Effective, evidence-based ways for individuals to manage stress-related insomnia
“The first thing to understand is this. Sleep cannot be forced. The more you try to control it, the more alert you become. The focus has to be on calming the system that is blocking sleep,” stresses Raj.
He mentions that cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia remains one of the most effective approaches. It helps reset both habits and the anxiety around not sleeping, which often keeps the cycle going. “Equally important is how you close the day. A predictable wind-down matters. Reducing stimulation, avoiding emotionally heavy conversations late at night, and creating a consistent routine signal the system that it is safe to rest,” states Raj.
It also helps to deal with thoughts before bed. Setting aside time in the evening to write or process what is on your mind prevents it from spilling into the night. Finally, consistency is key. “Waking up at the same time every day, even after a poor night, slowly resets the rhythm. Sleep returns when the system feels steady again, not when it is pushed into it,” concludes the expert.
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